Feminist Aspie

No More

on September 7, 2013

(CW: Ableism, murder, abuse)

14-year-old Issy Stapleton is currently fighting for her life after her mother tried to gas her in a car. Her own mother. Another autistic person taken before their time by the people we’re supposed to trust the most.

But you can imagine the slant the media are taking. They don’t see Issy as a person, but a burden. A problem to be solved. “Broken”. Again.

Reports of abusive “high intensity treatment” forcing Issy into meltdowns. Then these meltdowns being used to build the “burden” narrative. Again and again and again.

People comparing a 14-year-old attempted murder victim to Adam Lanza purely because they share a neurotype. Okay, so we’re violent burdens. Yet again.

This idea that all autistic children who lash out are better off dead. It’s not on. It’s really not on.

I’m thinking “Could have been me.” “Could have been my ex.” “Could have been all those people online.” Could have been so many people.

Same old story. Again, and again, and again.

On Tumblr today I saw “stop generalising neurotypicals, we don’t all hate you!” The feminists reading this should find that sentence structure very familiar indeed. If that’s your response to a murderous hate crime, you really need to sort your priorities out.

No more.

This fucked-up rhetoric that it’s better to be dead than autistic, the more general rhetoric that it’s better to be dead than disabled, needs to stop.

The near-total exclusion of autistic people from the conversation about our own neurology needs to stop.

Treating human beings as anything less than just that – human beings – needs to stop.

Just… all of it. All of this. No more.

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6 responses to “No More

  1. Heidi Street says:

    I hope she survives this, it makes one feel sick to the stomach that a mother could do that. Mine put me into care when my autism caused me to lash out at her new husband, and to this day treats me like I’m an unwelcome burden, ans I thought that was a sick woman…

  2. invisibleautistic/Robin says:

    Also, anyone who says that this parent was justified to kill her child due to the lack of support from society is pretty much letting society off the hook for its contribution to such a toxic environment. It’s as if they’re saying, “Yeah, this environment is really bad, but what can you do about it? Some people will just decide to murder someone because society won’t help us.” Okay? Uh, one, murder is never justified. Two, what can we do to change that, to prevent this tragedy from happening again, to someone else? I think THAT’S what the media should be focusing on, and not blaming an autistic child for this tragedy.

    Goddammit. It’s just a freaking tragedy all around.

  3. It’s disgusting when so called ‘parents’ do this to their own children. It’s disgusting the way the media reports it. I am absolutely over it!

  4. MomofFour says:

    I just read Issy is recovered 95% what a relief. I have also been reading numerous blogs on this situation and the facts that jump out to me are that Issy was away all summer and had only been back home a few days before her mother tried to kill her. The mother had waking hours aides already approved as she had in the past SHE HAD HELP! This was a mother with the gold standard of help, yet people are defending her throughout the web as having snapped. Snapping is not researching how to carbon monoxide your daughter and yourself. That is another question why did the mother seem to have little damage at the scene and the daughter was in a coma for days? The mother comes off as at best a raging narcissist on her blog, at worst she is a psychopath who has been building up the trauma with her daughter, the whole time conveniently documenting it, lending photos of her in the hospital as future evidence to keep her out of prison. This is more than premeditated attempted murder. How did the mother have endless hours on the internet to blog yet was so filled with despair and at the end of her rope? One commenter said she sent the child to school wearing the same outfit for a week straight. This is not mother of the year material. She should have been the one having the mental health checks. Let’s see how Issy does a few years from now without this monster rearing her. I can have compassion for how difficult it must be to have a special needs child but compassion does not mean acceptance of a blatant murder attempt.

  5. hehehe says:

    Education has always been crap… ( Alice Miller), No one ever questioned the use of torture to raise chidren.And no, it is not any better in exotic countries. I know what kind of distress smiles can hide. Great progress has been made during the 60’s and seventies.
    Being close to forty I cannot say my youth was very funny but my parents did to me what had been done to them. It does not matter wether you are autistic or something else. Stutborness is not rebelliousness. I can see a reaction against all that progress coming from the same people who are always on the look out for potential canon fodder. One thing though we cannot overcome by using the same weapon they use since the’yre more powerful than we are.And have most organized religions on their side.
    This mom is in my opinion not different from countless mothers who ever sent their son to get butchered at wars. All of this for their own good of course?

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