Feminist Aspie

I’m Not Sick: A rant about neurotypical privilege.

on February 12, 2013

Blogger’s Note, written 28/6/2015: Wow. This post is getting a LOT of traffic. It seems to be fairly high up on Google searches for “neurotypical privilege”, and last night it was posted on various social media sites by the wonderful Autistic Self Advocacy Network and my stats have exploded and it’s scary and wonderful. Thank you so much! I wrote this almost two and a half years ago, when I’d only been blogging for a couple of months, so apologies if the wording isn’t perfect. I absolutely stand by everything I’ve written here, but that might not necessarily apply to all my other really old posts that may appear near this one; I’ve learned so much since I started this blog, and I’m so grateful to those of you who have helped me on that journey. If you’re new, which you probably are, you might be interested in checking out my more recent posts! In particular, because I’m conscious that people might come here looking for a full explanation of neurotypical privilege, I feel like I should point out that this post is based on my experiences as an autistic person specifically, and whilst autistic activists coined the terms of the neurodiversity movement, there is far far more to neurodiversity (and neurotypical privilege) than just autism. As you can probably tell, I lost track of replying to comments on this page a looooooong time ago, but I’m still reading and I really do appreciate your feedback. Finally, sorry about the big Buzz Lightyear thumbnails on social media – it was meant to only be a temporary avatar, honest… Okay, take it away, younger self!

I am autistic, and I’m sick of neurotypical privilege.

I’m sick of hearing that I and others like me can’t live a full life. We can, and we do. We just need a little help sometimes.

I’m sick of being told my experience isn’t real, that I’m just an attention-seeker or a special snowflake, or having those accusations directed at my parents.

I’m sick of the myth that vaccines cause autism. And even if that were true, I’m sick of people avoiding vaccinating their children because they’d rather they get ill or even die than be like me.

I’m sick of autism being compared to cancer and AIDS. The latter two are diseases which can and do kill. Autism is not.

I’m sick of hearing that autism is an “epidemic”. The reason that more people are diagnosed with autism now is that there is so much more awareness regarding autism. The numbers will probably continue to increase for a while, for that reason.

I’m sick of being told I have to pass for neurotypical to be liked and accepted by my peers. I have a great circle of friends who are really understanding and supportive. If  people judge me for not being neurotypical, that says more about them than it does about me.

I’m sick of hearing that stimming is a bad thing. If it’s not hurting anybody, I don’t see what the problem is. And if rocking and flapping and twitching is what’s going to stop me having a meltdown, that’s what I’ll do. I’m sick of being told in one breath that you have to learn to cope and in the next breath that you can’t do that to cope.

I’m sick of being told not to scream after I’ve screamed at a sudden loud bang. Emphasis on the word sudden. It’s not like I thought about it and made a conscious choice to scream.

I’m sick of the people around me saying “Stop that, it’s embarrassing” or “That must really annoy your friends” when it doesn’t. I’m especially sick of that under the guise of “We’re used to you, but other people…” when they seem to have more of a problem with it than other people.

I’m sick of all this driving me to a meltdown and then being told that that’s embarassing too.

I’m sick of “quiet hands”.

I’m sick of most of the “treatment” for autism being based on making people on the spectrum pass for neurotypical, rather than social skills or advocacy or something else that might actually solve some problems. I’m sick of living in a society in which the most important thing, above all else, is to comply.

I’m sick of conditioned compliance.

I’m sick of literally greeting people with apologies because of the constant fear that I’m screwing up, that I don’t know how to comply. Everyone who knows me is sick of it, too.

I’m sick of struggling to make minor decisions in public (like what to order for food) because there’s only one right answer, only one way to comply, and I’m sick of not believing people (at the time) when they tell me they really don’t mind what I choose. Again, everyone who knows me is sick of it. Everyone is sick of conditioned compliance, so it seems.

I’m sick of being spoken for.

I’m sick of all the media, the panels, all the publicity surrounding the autistic spectrum focusing on people who aren’t actually on the spectrum – the family, the friends, the “experts”, everyone but the person who knows what it’s like. I don’t want to attack all those people – they’re usually well-meaning and really want to help, and please keep fighting the good fight – but seriously, an all-male panel discussing sexism clearly isn’t a good idea, and I’m sick of people not seeing that an all-neurotypical panel discussing autism isn’t a good idea either. Especially when they don’t listen to people who are actually on the spectrum

I’m sick of not being listened to because I don’t have a child or another relative on the spectrum. am autistic. Is that not enough?

I’m sick of being treated like a child.

I’m sick of people telling me I’m “not really autistic” because I’m not like another autistic person they know. It’s called a spectrum for a reason. This counts double when they’re a child; if I’m a lot older than them, of course I’m going to be more able with some aspects of life, autism or no autism. Nowadays, I rarely have public meltdowns and I can follow the major social rules (e.g. personal space), but I’m sick of people assuming this also applies to my childhood. It doesn’t.

I’m especially sick of the above when the person telling me I’m “not autistic enough” isn’t on the spectrum themselves. How is it logical that I’m “not autistic enough” to know what I’m talking about, but you’re qualified when you’re not autistic at all?

I’m sick of functioning labels and the assumptions they carry with them.

I’m sick of the assumption that people who are verbal are “high-functioning” and people who are non-verbal are “low-functioning”.

I’m sick of people on the spectrum being told they’re either too “high-functioning” to know what they’re talking about, or too “low-functioning” to know what they’re talking about.

I’m sick of worrying that people won’t understand my needs because I’m apparently “high-functioning”. Similarly, I’m sick of the potential of other people on the spectrum being ignored because they’re apparently “low-functioning”.

I’m sick of being told that Asperger’s syndrome isn’t “really autism”. I’d imagine that people with PDD-NOS are sick of being told the same about that.

I’m sick of the constant thought that one day, there might be a pill or an injection that could wipe out people like me, that could turn me into the norm, that could make me comply, that wouldn’t care that most of my personality is eradicated along with it.

I’m sick of being told I’m selfish for not wanting such a cure, and that the people telling me I do need a cure are somehow not selfish.

Autism isn’t a sickness. Neurotypical privilege is.

106 responses to “I’m Not Sick: A rant about neurotypical privilege.

  1. Spencer says:

    While I do agree with most statements on this list, I have to disagree with the severity of them. I admit I don’t know what your situation is, but for me, (and I’m not sure if it’s just the fact that I don’t make my autism as public or not but anyways) I don’t face these problems. And while I’d love to hop aboard the victim train, I’m not going to. We’re all human.

  2. Hey! Love to hear it all..Newly realized my aspieness, huge struggles…as a child and now…ow!
    So many validations in the words spoken here…thankyou…

  3. autistics.org says:

    Are There Any Treatments For NT?

    There is no known cure for Neurotypical Syndrome.

    What Is NT?

    Neurotypical syndrome is a neurobiological disorder characterized by preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and obsession with conformity.

    Neurotypical individuals often assume that their experience of the world is either the only one, or the only correct one. NTs find it difficult to be alone. NTs are often intolerant of seemingly minor differences in others. When in groups NTs are socially and behaviorally rigid, and frequently insist upon the performance of dysfunctional, destructive, and even impossible rituals as a way of maintaining group identity. NTs find it difficult to communicate directly, and have a much higher incidence of lying as compared to persons on the autistic spectrum.

    NT is believed to be genetic in origin. Autopsies have shown the brain of the neurotypical is typically smaller than that of an autistic individual and may have overdeveloped areas related to social behavior.

    Have a look here : http://isnt.autistics.org/

    Couldn’t stop laughing

  4. Mackenzie says:

    I can say that “neurotypical privelage” doesn’t exist, and autism really is bad. Now I bet you’re going to say, “well you’re just some normal asshole who needs to check his privelage” but I have Aspergers. And I hate it. Partially because I’m paired with other cancerous autists, and partially because I am a cancerous autist. And anyone who wants to not vaccinate their child has full right. Plus, there haven’t even been any 3rd party tests of vaccines, and the only tests have been done by the companies who make the vaccines. Plus, who cares if someone else’s kid gets sick because they aren’t vaccinated? It isn’t gonna affect your vaccinated kid supposedly. And I do personally blame my Aspergers on vaccine damage. Now shut up you stuck up feminist, there is something wrong with autism, and we all know it.

    • dennis says:

      Meaning ‘we’re not able to play Normdom’s social dominance (rubbish) games’?

      If ‘becoming the God’ is the goal in life – or even just belonging – then that isn’t likely to happen. If it does, it’s going to be strictly a matter of convenience from the Norms who are ‘using’ you as a means to further their own ends.

      The reason WE are not likely to be accepted by Normdom as a whole is simply that WE are ‘social liabilities’ as far as Normdom is concerned.

      Ever wonder why the other two names for ‘social intelligence’ are ‘political intelligence’ and ‘Machiavellian intelligence’? Further, do you wonder why ‘social reality’ shouldn’t have similar alternative names, e.g. ‘Political Reality’ and ‘Machiavellian Reality’. Finally, should we limit ourselves to just *one* part of the dark triad when expressing what’s going on in a given Normie’s head? As in one needs to add Narcissism and Psychopathy (gasp!) to the social realm so as to truly comprehend it (at least to the degree one who lacks the needed INSTINCTS *can* comprehend it)?

      While implementing ‘the forty-eight laws of power’ is beyond the capacity of most autists – it is well beyond mine – that book, and others like it, are useful so as to ***learn*** what Normdom does – as a rule – by instinct. That is, most Normies don’t need to be taught how to do social gamesmanship – they just do it. (Watch a group of toddlers/preschoolers sometimes. They have an ***astonishing*** grasp of social dynamics and just ***how*** to #game# each other.)

      So, if that’s your goal, then you’re absolutely right. Being autistic DOES stink THEN – and nothing short of an effectual *brain transplant* – where all that comprises you and who you are in truth is expunged, and is replaced by an utterly different NORMAL consciousness with the appropriate Normalistic instincts – will cause you to become, and be recognized as – Normal.

    • anonymous says:

      You’re such a hypocrite and a traitor to other autistic people, Mackenzie. It’s ironic that you called her stuck-up when you sound that way. So it’s you should shut up instead.

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